Post Wedding Blues & Choosing A Time To Honeymoon

Hey Beautiful Readers! 

A little less sexy of a topic today, but an important one to cover for brides reaching the end of their planning journey. I was chatting with some friends who recently got married or are getting married soon, and there was one thing constantly coming up - the post wedding period that just doesn't get talked about enough.

So let’s break down what those first few weeks, and even months, post-wedding are actually going to feel like, and what you can do to help yourself get through. 

Whether you’ve hired a planner to take the reigns or you’re DIY’ing your way to survival - most of us spend an average of 12 months obsessing daily over the perfect wedding day. Guest lists, flower designs, color schemes & bridesmaids looks - and don’t get me started on our own dress(es). We do this all while maintaining jobs, homes, relationships, friendships and everything else that sits on our minds… #womanhood. 

Down to the very last few days, you’re answering questions, making decisions, completing payments, & chasing down information. But, wedding day comes and I promise it’s all worth it. The smiles on families faces, the raw emotion you can hear when vows are exchanged, the tears that roll down both your cheeks as you reach the end of the aisle. You dance the night away, laugh & cry - and then you wake up the next day and you did it - that event you poured yourself into month after month was a success. 

That morning feels beautiful, and the days following are some of the happiest I've personally ever experienced. Reminiscing on the moments from that day, living in the little bubble of life that is your new marriage, going through Iphone shots as you anxiously await the photographers sneak peaks. It's a time to be slow & present. 

This is unfortunately where the end comes. Once the wedding is over there’s no more decisions, no more people hounding you for information, no more wondering if you accounted for certain minutes of the day - you go back to a normal life that suddenly feels abnormal. Somewhere along the process of wedding planning, even though stressful, those decisions and the dream of what it’d all be, slips into a form of comfort. It becomes a part of you - no matter how much you tell yourself you “won’t be that girl who makes her wedding her entire personality” I am here to tell you, you will. 

It gets quiet and slow again, oddly still. Many couples immediately begin thinking “what’s next” and that leads to the conversations of starting families, buying homes, remodeling, or starting a business. It feels necessary to start a new challenge and find something new for your mind, but try and appreciate the slow pace for a bit. 

The ever so controversial honeymoon timing gets called into question here. If you’re like most of my clients and the idea of planning a trip in addition to a wedding is just too much - I'll remind you my travel services are free - and you can reach out here to plan with me. As someone who’s now planned many honeymoons around the world at all different points after my clients get married, I can confidently say - there is no right answer to this; But here’s some insight to help you decide. 

Your first option is the historically traditional route - go the next morning, maybe 2 days later, on an immediate vacation. This keeps you in the bubble of marriage, allows you to avoid going back to work for a few extra days, and immediately follows the celebration - meaning all those butterflies of wedding day are still circling inside you both. There are actually couples who choose their wedding date around the best time to travel to their dream honeymoon destination. Keep that in mind if you do want to go this route. If you’ve had your heart set on a destination, make sure your chosen wedding date falls in the peak, or prime shoulder season to get the vacation you want! Nothing worse than a tropical honeymoon being ruined by un-swimmable beaches covered in sargassum or a hurricane re-routing your cruise. 

Your next option is to do a quick mini-moon, a short weekend away, a staycation or somewhere drivable but romantic. This is a great option for those on a budget, anyone who can’t spare the back-to-back-to-back PTO days, and even those who just can’t fathom immediately going on a big vacation right after the biggest event of their lives. For couples interested in this route, think of dreamy splurge hotels in a nearby town or a cozy serene getaway you’ve always wanted to take together. Spend a few extra days away living in that wedding bubble, come back and plan the big honeymoon celebration for a few months later. I always recommend my couples stay at least one extra night in their hotel suite or villa from the wedding weekend as well. Even if you treat this one night as your mini-moon, I promise it’ll be one of the most fun and memorable date nights! 

Which brings me to the last option - going at a later date. Maybe it's a month, or even a year later. I personally went on my honeymoon 3 months after my wedding. I imagined having to pack for that vacation in the midst of the boxes filling up my home office for the wedding - and that was enough to convince me that waiting was the answer. Going later gave me a benefit I did not expect. While I did have to go back to work a few days after my wedding, all of a sudden months later I got to go right back to that bubble and celebrate the whole thing all over again. We had new perspectives, a few months of marriage under our belts, and time to reminisce on it in a different manner. It allowed us to save up, readjust financially after the burden of final wedding payments, and felt just as good to hear those “congratulations” from hoteliers and servers around the world.  

Whether you go immediately or wait 6 months, when you come back - you don’t need to rush into what’s next. You’ll look back and realize that you experienced so many big, life changing and impactful moments - all at once. And if you don’t slow down, you’ll blink and be unsure of how it all happened so fast. (From a girl who purchased her home 30 days before her wedding and moved 7 days after). 

Fill your time with new hobbies, go out with friends, schedule a weekly or at least monthly date night - just because you’re married doesn’t mean you stop dating. Scrapbook your wedding cards, preserve your flowers, write your thank you cards. Enjoy the bliss that the newlywed season brings. Be intentional, and don’t let anyone tell you you’re doing it wrong. 

Xoxo,

Alyssa